I am a kind of mother who takes pride in being objective. I don't think my son is faultless because he is mine. In fact, I think I have always been overtly critical. But 3 Thursdays ago, as I was driving home from school (yes , I am a mother and a student teacher of adults), my husband called me and said that he had been called into the school. Following that he told me that V (my son) was fine. Though that calmed the initial panic, I still wasn't comfortable driving home with that feeling of not knowing what exactly had happened due to which they called my husband in to school. I got home to the shocking news that the principal and V's teacher talked of suspending my son. The reason: A 6 year old boy, my son had pushed another 6 year old while they were both in the playground. The other kid who fell got a bump on his head and had to be taken home. In the meeting , the principal ( very condescendingly) told my husband that she wouldn't put a suspension on record, but the kid had to go home so that he keeps his hands off other kids.
From the beginning of this academic year ( September 2006), I have had this bad feeling that my son's teacher ( a man in his late twenties) is very bright academically, but does not have the ability to transfer that brilliance to his students in the manner that an elementary school teacher should. I believe that academics is not the entire definition of a teacher. Studying to become a teacher of adults myself, I am learning that knowledge transfer is a skill, is an art, is a gift from God that not everyone can handle gracefully. But I haven't let my thoughts colour my son's vision of his teacher. To him, his teacher is the best in the world and I want that optimism in him to be kept flying high. However, since I am not in a position to move him out of that school ( since this is the only grade 1 class in that school), I have decided to take this whole unfair treatment lying down. When I asked my son why he had pushed the other kid, he says the other kid twisted his name. When I mentioned this to the teacher and the principal in one of the subsequent meetings ,they said the other kid was doing it out of affection!!! On later enquiries, I came to know that the other kid is at the highest level of reading in the class and hence the teacher's pet. My son holds my ear at night before he falls asleep. He very often chooses to hold my ears when he is brimming with affection. When the teacher picked on him earlier saying he held his friend's ears, I told him that it is out of V's affection and that I would let him know he can't do it in school. The teacher didn't lend me a hearing ear then. The attitude was - it isn't acceptable around here!
If I were to be my natural self, I would move every court to get justice for my son.I would turn ever stone to ensure that no other student is meted out with unfair treatment by this teacher. I would ensure the principal hears me out. But people to whom I matter have advised me that to start the career of a 6 year old on that note is not the best thing to do. I have decided to play games. I have taken the stance of praising and thanking the teacher and the principal for not making the suspension official and asking them for help to improve my son's behaviour. I am joining them in the battle to eliminate V's ability to be different. The school system wants clones of each other in kids. I don't think suspension and calling him a bully are the right methods to discipline him or make him aware of acceptable behaviour. A 6 year old can't push another kid? Which law in the world says that's a crime enough to warrant suspension from school? Doesn't the teacher have a responsibility to help correct that behaviour through the encouragement of understanding of propreity and not by ramming it down his throat in this manner? A bright boy at the age of 6 ( according to most of our friends)V is also a bit physical. If he can't be a kid at 6, when is the right age to be a child? Can somebody advise me?
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5 comments:
Thank you for stopping by my blog and please do stop by again.A very interesting post and I am sure it is something parents have encountered.I am a mother of two and have always like you have been critical of my sons behavior and always take the other childs side when something went wrong. as you said academics is not the only thing which is important when a child attends school.I think suspension is bad especially for a 6yr old who is just starting out in school.you want him to always have a positive outlook on school.I think you have to just try and help him by talking to him at home about pushing other kids ,it does not seem right because boys will be boys..I have a girl and a boy and they are different.one cannot expect the same behavior with all kids. On the same token I have always told my children not to lay their hands on another child. if they do wrong I have told them they should talk to the teacher or come home and tell us because it is a crazy world we live in and anything can be misunderstood and taken out of context.I dont know if it helps but this is what i have done in the past.
Good teachers are hard to find these days. Ever heard of suspension for six year olds? "sigh"
Shilpa, you are tagged. Please do the book tag if you are interested in books
I didn't even realise that there are some schools where men teach in the primary section. Here in the town I love in, in almost all the schools I know of, only women teach the primary section, which I think is great for children because, on the whole, I think they are more understanding and sympathetic of little children. I think the fact that the teacher is a man and besides so young (and therefore very unlikely to be a father himself) has made him go totally overboard. He does not seem to have any empathy. I thought doing your B.Ed meant learning developmental psychology!
Sorry, this comment has turned into a mini post, but I'm a teacher of pre-schoolers & primary school and an issue such as this, of one 1st grader pushing another is pretty common and usually fairly easily dealt with.
Shilpa: My son turned 7 two months ago. He is an extremely active boy. I have three words that he has to follow each day. Respect, Responsibility and Reliability.
He needs to respect the teacher, his friends and the rules of the school
He needs to be responsible with his work and attitude
He needs to be reliable, when it comes to doing his work neatly, properly and on time
Each evening when I fetch him from the school I ask his teacher how he has been. If she says 'not good' then my son will have something called 'sitout'..ie he has to sit on the couch till supper time, He can't read/play gameboy/go outside to play with his friends/even go for his favourite soccer game.
He can't sit still for more than 5 sec and imagine sitting down from 3.30 till 7.30! So far he only had one sit out and I don't think he would want to go through it again.
BTW: I am pretty cheesed off with ur son's teacher and the principal. Which grade 1 boy hasn't been naughty? Not putting a record of the suspension in your son's record? What nonsense is that? Your son isn't a criminal. He is just a boy..
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