Today
This morning I make a phone call to my friend. My intention is to wish her good luck for her new home. She is getting the keys to her first home ( own home of course!). her husband answers. The following happens,
Sandy ( her husband) : Hello
Me : Hi Sandy
Sandy : oh hi!
Me: So, aren't you excited about today?
Sandy ( very dryly) : Yes.
Me (can sense the lack of enthusiasm): I just wanted to wish Sin ( his wife and my friend) all the best.
Sandy: Oh ok.
Me: Is Sin busy or could I have a word with her?
Sandy: Oh, she is in the washroom.
Me: That's ok, I'll talk to her later.
In the background, I hear Sin talking. I hear their son C screaming,"SHE IS NOT IN THE WASHROOM!" .....I quickly say bye and hang up.
Why don't you just stay away from me, Truth???
Last week
Last week, my son's teacher sent me a note saying," V pushed Ch with both hands on purpose." Now, Ch lives very near our house. I asked my son why he pushed Ch.
He said: "I didn't".
Me: You did. your teacher says so.
He:No, I didn't.
Me: Please tell the truth.
He: I really didn't mom.
I take V and go to Ch's house to apologize . I knock on the door. Ch's grandfather opens the door.
Me to the grandfather: I am sorry V pushed Ch.
He: Oh really? I didn't know.
Ch comes to the door : Hi
Me to Ch: V wants to apologize to you.
Ch: for what?
Me: Didn't he push you at school?
Ch: No, he didn't.
Me: Are you sure?
Ch: Yes, I am.
Me: Ok Ch, that's good. I am glad you both are good friends. See you tomorrow . Bye!
Stay away from me, Truth!
( My son's teacher is now out to prove a point because of all the trouble we had last month!)
Last month
My friend at school: Hey, did you finish studying for the test next week?
Me: No, I am still stuck with the assignments. Did you?
My friend : No, I never study earlier. I am a last minute person, somehow I still manage good grades. I haven't even read the text book once. Let's hope for the best next week.
Me: Yeah, all the best. Could you please drop this book off at the library for me?
She: Oh sure
Me: Here is the book.
She struggles to put the book into her bag and another book falls out. From that falls out all her study notes for the test that's due next week. And, she hasn't even read the text book once??
Please stay away from me, TRUTH!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Stifle your uniqueness. Become a clone!
I am a kind of mother who takes pride in being objective. I don't think my son is faultless because he is mine. In fact, I think I have always been overtly critical. But 3 Thursdays ago, as I was driving home from school (yes , I am a mother and a student teacher of adults), my husband called me and said that he had been called into the school. Following that he told me that V (my son) was fine. Though that calmed the initial panic, I still wasn't comfortable driving home with that feeling of not knowing what exactly had happened due to which they called my husband in to school. I got home to the shocking news that the principal and V's teacher talked of suspending my son. The reason: A 6 year old boy, my son had pushed another 6 year old while they were both in the playground. The other kid who fell got a bump on his head and had to be taken home. In the meeting , the principal ( very condescendingly) told my husband that she wouldn't put a suspension on record, but the kid had to go home so that he keeps his hands off other kids.
From the beginning of this academic year ( September 2006), I have had this bad feeling that my son's teacher ( a man in his late twenties) is very bright academically, but does not have the ability to transfer that brilliance to his students in the manner that an elementary school teacher should. I believe that academics is not the entire definition of a teacher. Studying to become a teacher of adults myself, I am learning that knowledge transfer is a skill, is an art, is a gift from God that not everyone can handle gracefully. But I haven't let my thoughts colour my son's vision of his teacher. To him, his teacher is the best in the world and I want that optimism in him to be kept flying high. However, since I am not in a position to move him out of that school ( since this is the only grade 1 class in that school), I have decided to take this whole unfair treatment lying down. When I asked my son why he had pushed the other kid, he says the other kid twisted his name. When I mentioned this to the teacher and the principal in one of the subsequent meetings ,they said the other kid was doing it out of affection!!! On later enquiries, I came to know that the other kid is at the highest level of reading in the class and hence the teacher's pet. My son holds my ear at night before he falls asleep. He very often chooses to hold my ears when he is brimming with affection. When the teacher picked on him earlier saying he held his friend's ears, I told him that it is out of V's affection and that I would let him know he can't do it in school. The teacher didn't lend me a hearing ear then. The attitude was - it isn't acceptable around here!
If I were to be my natural self, I would move every court to get justice for my son.I would turn ever stone to ensure that no other student is meted out with unfair treatment by this teacher. I would ensure the principal hears me out. But people to whom I matter have advised me that to start the career of a 6 year old on that note is not the best thing to do. I have decided to play games. I have taken the stance of praising and thanking the teacher and the principal for not making the suspension official and asking them for help to improve my son's behaviour. I am joining them in the battle to eliminate V's ability to be different. The school system wants clones of each other in kids. I don't think suspension and calling him a bully are the right methods to discipline him or make him aware of acceptable behaviour. A 6 year old can't push another kid? Which law in the world says that's a crime enough to warrant suspension from school? Doesn't the teacher have a responsibility to help correct that behaviour through the encouragement of understanding of propreity and not by ramming it down his throat in this manner? A bright boy at the age of 6 ( according to most of our friends)V is also a bit physical. If he can't be a kid at 6, when is the right age to be a child? Can somebody advise me?
From the beginning of this academic year ( September 2006), I have had this bad feeling that my son's teacher ( a man in his late twenties) is very bright academically, but does not have the ability to transfer that brilliance to his students in the manner that an elementary school teacher should. I believe that academics is not the entire definition of a teacher. Studying to become a teacher of adults myself, I am learning that knowledge transfer is a skill, is an art, is a gift from God that not everyone can handle gracefully. But I haven't let my thoughts colour my son's vision of his teacher. To him, his teacher is the best in the world and I want that optimism in him to be kept flying high. However, since I am not in a position to move him out of that school ( since this is the only grade 1 class in that school), I have decided to take this whole unfair treatment lying down. When I asked my son why he had pushed the other kid, he says the other kid twisted his name. When I mentioned this to the teacher and the principal in one of the subsequent meetings ,they said the other kid was doing it out of affection!!! On later enquiries, I came to know that the other kid is at the highest level of reading in the class and hence the teacher's pet. My son holds my ear at night before he falls asleep. He very often chooses to hold my ears when he is brimming with affection. When the teacher picked on him earlier saying he held his friend's ears, I told him that it is out of V's affection and that I would let him know he can't do it in school. The teacher didn't lend me a hearing ear then. The attitude was - it isn't acceptable around here!
If I were to be my natural self, I would move every court to get justice for my son.I would turn ever stone to ensure that no other student is meted out with unfair treatment by this teacher. I would ensure the principal hears me out. But people to whom I matter have advised me that to start the career of a 6 year old on that note is not the best thing to do. I have decided to play games. I have taken the stance of praising and thanking the teacher and the principal for not making the suspension official and asking them for help to improve my son's behaviour. I am joining them in the battle to eliminate V's ability to be different. The school system wants clones of each other in kids. I don't think suspension and calling him a bully are the right methods to discipline him or make him aware of acceptable behaviour. A 6 year old can't push another kid? Which law in the world says that's a crime enough to warrant suspension from school? Doesn't the teacher have a responsibility to help correct that behaviour through the encouragement of understanding of propreity and not by ramming it down his throat in this manner? A bright boy at the age of 6 ( according to most of our friends)V is also a bit physical. If he can't be a kid at 6, when is the right age to be a child? Can somebody advise me?
Thursday, March 8, 2007
A new life, a new identity in blogosphere....
I have been reading blogs for a long time now. I have read all kinds of blogs, ones that touched me and ones that I didn't think about.; ones I read and ones I didn't want to see ever again; ones that set me thinking and ones I wanted to forget. I respect all bloggers for their commitment and courage to showcase their thoughts to the world . I am sure the writing also helps one organize one's thinking and especially if one is writing about problems, the writing helps you get a new perspective. I hope to get all this and more from my decision to blog. There have been times in my life when I wanted to make a story out of my life. But I never believed that I have the capacity to write and have people read it and get interested. I have finally gathered the guts to atleast try. Like they say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Maybe one day I will say," it is better to have blogged and lost than...."
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